BT = bian tai; 变态; perverted; freak
BT is a good word to summarise all the super negative cum disgusting adjectives that can be used on many uncles nowadays. There seems to be a significantly increasing number of BT uncles recently...or perhaps an increment in the number of BT uncles my friends and I had unfortunately met. Lemme mentioned a few...note it's a few only k....
Case 1
Returned home at 11+pm and I was followed by a BT uncle. Hunched back, in white tee, jeans, around 1.74m with disgusting little moustache.
Thought he followed so close 'cos he wanna overtake me, but no...when i moved away for him, he walked slowly all the way with lotsa staring. At one point when i thought he wanted to cross the road hence safe enough for me to turn into my street, he suddenly turned in with me. But I'm oso smart enough to walk behind instead of in front of him...though his pace was like 1 step per sec...the road so big, blocked my way somemore... @#%@(&#!
In the end, technology helped me and my power mummy came to my rescue.
Case 2
Not as exciting as Case 1, but I can still remember how the uncle looks like. Late 50s, white tee with holes, black shorts, bold, short, hunched back (this thing about hunched back uncle ah....).
Just walked out of MRT station and saw an uncle looking at me strangely. Automatically, my red alert signal came on. And true enough, he approached me and asked "how much". That is sooooo duhhhhhhhh!! I think my clothes all quite decent right...I was wearing jeans not skirt that day somemore!
Case 3
A cyclist drove past my friend and wooooooo! 如来X掌 stretched out and touched her stomach. This is really BT....there's bascially no warning signs at all 'cos that uncle is cycling...who knows he can cycle with only one hand. My point is...this type is quite ultimate, hard to protect yourself against this kinda BT cyclist uncle.
Common cases on buses (there are more cases on mrt in fact....)
1. Leaning while sitting
I remembered our jc physics lecturer (that oldest one....can't rem his name. Mr Pun?) tried to explain centripedal force during lecture. And his conclusion for that topic was: Girls should not blame the guys for leaning onto you when the bus turn 'cos it's the girls' fault for acting against the force. It's a joke...we all know that please...but apparently many uncles don't loh.
2. Leaning while standing
This is another ultimate BT act. Girl sitting down, uncle standing, facing the girl and leaning!! How gross can that be?! But fear no more....muaahhhaaaa.... 'cos power me had consolidated and came up with "10大防BTuncles大法"!
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10大防BTuncles大法大公开 (i sound so BT myself...oops) - only work when the uncle is still plotting his evil plan and not yet taken any action
1. First step: Walk away
This is to test whether the uncle is really BT or not. Or perhaps the uncle just born to have weird stares or ermm...itchy fingers.
2. Attitude
Act like nothing has happened. Stay cool. The more panic you are, the more excited the uncles get. This is the perfect time to act like a Hollywood star, 用鼻子看人, give the uncle a "我鄙视你" look.
3. Move towards the crowd
No crowd? Just move to places where there is at least one human, or more souls, or more light, or more moving objects k. It works 'cos somehow dark and motionless environment tend to arouse uncles.
4. Talk to anyone...simply ANYONE
In crowd still no use? Still can feel the uncle's ready for action? Just go talk to somebody. Can talk about anything....ask for the time, the date, the place etc. But no smile on the face k (recall point 2). If the red alert siren is already ringing rather loudly, then just tell the stranger about the BT UNCLE. Better, show a pathetic face.
5. Weapons
Always carry some weapons with you. Example: umbrella and compass. Umbrella is the perfect weapon to perform your 峨眉剑法, and compass? Use it when the uncle is "leaning while standing". Bend your elbow, grip the compass, point the sharp needle towards his XXX. Then send him a "来啊, you dare you come poke yourself loh...muaaahhhaaaaa" brainwave. Acknowledgement: my mummy
By the way, pepper spray is illegal in Singapore. However, since the number of BT uncles is increasing, probably it's a good idea if you can find a working one from black market. *evil*
6. Carry a bag
Bag is good. Can put all your weapons in. It can be used to beat up BT uncles without hurting our delicate hands. Can also be used to block salty pig hands and sweaty bodies on MRT and buses.
7. Wear heels
Heels are good too. Not only can heels give a leg lengthening visual effect, there are rumours about BT uncles scared of heels-knocking-head 第三十八式.
8. Give the guys some credit
Let them show some gentlemanliness. Allow them to see you home. 不顺路? No excuse.
9. Just dial
Like me, call for SOS. What's handphone for if it can't help you? Make full use of it. My friend said I called my mother a little too late. Should have called her when I sensed something is wrong. But i thought it was okay....'cos I used 10大防BTuncles大法 number 1 and 2 first...din know the uncle is more BT than I thought. Anyway, think my timing is quite ok oso lah...my mummy get to see the BT uncle walking in front of me, giving me stares...an evidence of her daughter at least have a little bit of charm...haa!
10. 见机行事
Nothing works? Dun follow any textbook or my 10大防BTuncles大法...just 见机行事. Bless you.
Seriously, they are effective ...not trying to smoke here.
Less effective ways are making yourself look ugly, cover every part of your body up including ears and fingers...'cos previous cases have proven many uncles are BT enough to go for almost all girls, any time and any place. As long as the gender is right, bingo!
So let us work together for our democratic society, so as to achieve happiness, prosperity and progress for our future.
ha. ha ha. *cold*
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Dunno what the uncles are deprived of leh! i mean there are so many convenient, cheap or even FOC ways they can find the pleasure they wanted, what for they go disturb others right? What do they gained from few seconds? Really BT man...
Din expect myself to write this kinda of blog after so long of no blogging. I wasn't too bz or something...in fact I'm super eng. But somehow I tried to find many little bo liao things to do like read books, play piano, erm...blogging, etc. when I was bz. And when I'm super eng now, I dun feel like doing anything besides watching tv, sleeping and surfing the same websites everyday.
Weird.
